Torture Brendan Episode VIII: Fantastic Four (2015)

 

Released Date: August 7, 2015
Running Time: 100 Minutes
Movie Suggested By: Stephanie O’Shea


fantastic-four-banner-146299.jpeg

I’ll go with the obvious, more like fantastic bore. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse than Ben Affleck’s Daredevil, it did.

I would rather skip origin stories and go straight to bad ass plots and good fight scenes. This movie did the opposite. It drags you along for a lengthy time that feels as long as watching The Postman, then you get a 2 minute fight scene, then done.

Seriously, that’s it. Oh, and throw in the typical whiny millennial “oooh humans are a virus, bla bla bla”. Enough already. Damn I get it. But it cracks me up that Victor Von Doom goes on and on about it, all while heading this giant project that uses massive amounts of electricity,  petroleum based products, and mined minerals. I guess he hangs with DiCaprio on private jets and super yachts.

This movie would be the porn equivalent the classic pizza delivery guy theme. That is, if the pizza guy was a virgin, and they film him making the pizza, packaging it, the entire drive, then gets to the door, gets invited in, clothes come off, and he’s immediately done after 15 seconds. The end.

Beers: 🍺🍺🍺

*Watch the torture below*

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Torture Brendan Episode VIII: Fantastic Four (2015)

  1. Michael says:

    Yeah, the “Ang Lee’s Hulk” reference summed it up. It was boring and felt pointless. Miscast. Lame dialogue.
    Hell, I saw it in the theatre and can’t even remember the actor who played Doom.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s