Torture Brendan Episode IV: Black Dynamite

Released Date: January 13, 2010
Running Time: 84 Minutes
Movie Suggested By: Antoine Smith


Black-Dynamite-Poster.jpg

Well, this was a spectacular treat!

The segment is entitled, “Torture Brendan”.  This week’s pick was the equivalent of being captured by an enemy, blind folded, and gagged.  Expecting to be tortured as you are being dragged into a cell, your captors remove your blindfold.  On the table is a pack of cigarettes,  12 pack of ice cold beer, and a briefcase full of money.  On the Bed is Salma Hayek, Morena Baccarin, and Michelle Rodriguez, naked. This film is a combination of “The Naked Gun”, “Don’t be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood”, “Airplane”, and “Blazing Saddles”.

Set as a Blacksploitation film, it follows Michael Jai White, as Black Dynamite, as his quest to avenge his brothers death by “the Man”.  His brother was gunned down by some jive turkeys with some heavy shit.  Dynamite must battle his way to the top, with the help of his martial arts skills, firearms training, and his merry band of playas and bad mothafuckas.

This film has just about every black actor you can think of.  I’m actually shocked that Denzel wasn’t in it, but then again I don’t think he can do comedy.
Arsenio Fucking Hall is in this thing!

All I can say is, watch this movie.  If you hate it, then you have no soul
(ha ha, see what I did there?).

I give this movie a 0 beer rating.  I could watch this movie drunk or sober, and it would still be fantastic.

*Witness the torture below

 

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